Episode 213: A Tisket, A Tasket

[cut to Rory in the back looking at baskets. Dean walks up to her]

DEAN: Not that one.

RORY: You get no say in the basket.

DEAN: I have to bid on it.

RORY: And you have to eat what’s inside it and you get no say in that either.

DEAN: Hey.

RORY: Yeah?

DEAN: Is Taylor behind me?

RORY: No. [they kiss; a noise interrupts them]

DEAN: What? Taylor? [he turns around to look] Jess.

JESS: Sorry to intrude.

DEAN: Then why did you?

JESS: Well, you’re having your vertical From Here to Eternity moment right in front of the super glue.

RORY: Oh.

JESS: Not that that’s not an appropriate place to be doing it in front of but - .

DEAN: Here’s your glue.

JESS: Thanks. As you were. [walks away]

DEAN: I really hate that guy.

RORY: He didn’t do anything.

DEAN: He’s here, he’s breathing, that’s enough.

RORY: I really wish you two could start over.

DEAN: Why?

RORY: Because he lives here and we run into him. He goes to school here. I just think it’d be easier.

DEAN: I’m fine with the whole hating him thing, thank you.

RORY: I just think it’s a waste of energy.

DEAN: You know, I’ll have a PowerBar.

RORY: Fine, forget it.

DEAN: So, uh, I should probably get back to work. We still on for tonight?

RORY: I don’t know. I might be baking.

DEAN: I’ll pick you up at seven. Get that one, it’s nice and small.

RORY: Bye.

[Cut to Rory and Dean talking behind the gazebo]

DEAN: I’m gonna kill him.

RORY: Dean, he was probably just fooling around or something.

DEAN: No, he was messing with me.

RORY: I don’t - .

DEAN: He was messing with me and it’s the last time, I swear to God.

RORY: Dean, calm down.


DEAN: Why would he do this?

RORY: Maybe he was hungry.

DEAN: He’s trying to make me crazy.

RORY: Just don’t let him.

[Jess walks up behind them]

JESS: I gotta tell you, of all the nutty barn raising shindigs this town can cook up, this one wasn’t half bad.

DEAN: Glad you enjoyed it.

JESS: Yes I did. So shall we?

DEAN: Shall we what?

JESS: Shall we go?

DEAN: Go where?

JESS: Go eat.

DEAN: Excuse me?

JESS: The person who buys the basket wins the company of the person who makes the basket for lunch. Basket, basket maker, guy who didn’t bring enough money.

DEAN: You think this is funny.

JESS: Well, it’s no Lenny Bruce routine but it has its moments.

DEAN: Bye Jess.

JESS: Where you going?

DEAN: You’re the one who’s going.

JESS: Oh, as soon as Rory is ready.

DEAN: She’s not going with you.

JESS: Really, is that true?

DEAN: Yes, it’s true.

JESS: Excuse me Edgar Bergen, I think I’d like Charlie McCarthy to answer now.

DEAN: Shut up.

RORY: Dean.

DEAN: What?

RORY: Well…

DEAN: Oh, come on!

RORY: It’s tradition.

DEAN: I don’t believe this.

RORY: It’s true. My mother and I have been doing this every year since we moved here.

DEAN: So buck tradition.

RORY: Are you kidding? Do you remember how mad Taylor was when I was sick and I couldn’t go to the turkey-calling contest?

DEAN: This isn’t school, you’re not getting graded.

RORY: Just don’t make this into a big thing.

DEAN: Don’t go.

JESS: Oh geez man, she’s not shipping off to ‘Nam.

DEAN: You SO need to shut up now.

RORY: Look, Dean, it’s a picnic, it’s lunch. We’ll sit, we’ll eat, it’s over.

DEAN: No.

RORY: What do you think was gonna happen?

JESS: Yeah, I think I’d like to hear this one also.

DEAN: I don’t want you to go.

RORY: Dean!

DEAN: Fine, forget it, go. [walks away]

RORY: [follows him] Please don’t walk away like that.

DEAN: Sorry, I’d do a silly walk but I’m not feeling very John Cleese right now.

RORY: Dean, this isn’t my fault. I didn’t ask him to do that, I didn’t tell him to do that. Dean, you’re my boyfriend. I would never do anything to hurt you.

DEAN: Yeah? You’re doing it right now. [walks away]