CUT TO STARS HOLLOW
[Rory and Dean are kissing by a tree]
[Rory is in the kitchen with Jess and Paris eating food from Luke's care package.]
[phone rings]
RORY: Bye! [pushes him out the front door]
RORY: Wow, your lung capacity certainly has improved.
DEAN: Well, I’ve been playing a lot more basketball lately.
RORY: Yet another reason to continue the fight to keep physical education in schools.
DEAN: So, tonight.
RORY: Yes?
DEAN: I was thinking.
RORY: Yes?
DEAN: Since your mother’s gonna be gone.
RORY: Mm hmm.
DEAN: Maybe I’d come over.
RORY: Oh.
DEAN: What?
RORY: Actually, I was thinking of pulling kind of a hermit thing tonight.
DEAN: Why?
RORY: I don’t know. J.D. Salinger seems to dig it.
DEAN: You don’t want me to come over?
RORY: No, I just. . .I almost never get the house all to myself and I thought with my mom gone,
I can finally do my laundry exactly the way I like it. You know, not just separated into whites and colors,
but the colors separated into darks, mediums, and lights, with a separate pile for white T-shirts and T-shirts
with some kind of writing on them, like, you know, Rock Star, Evil, or Kafka was here.
DEAN: You wanna be alone to do laundry?
RORY: And watch TV and eat the Indian food that I love but my mom hates the smell of and go to bed early and. . .are you mad?
DEAN: Why would I be mad? You wanna spend tonight alone.
RORY: But hey, tomorrow, the whole day is all about you. I mean it, from morning ‘til night. You plan it, or
I’ll plan it, or we can get a professional to plan it, whatever you want. Just don’t be mad.
DEAN: I’m not. I’m not mad.
RORY: Good.
DEAN: I’m confused, but I’m not mad.
RORY: Fine
DEAN: I’m a saint, but I’m not mad.
RORY: Thank you.
DEAN: You’re welcome.
RORY: So, deep breath and. . .
CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE
JESS: You like hot sauce?
PARIS: I don’t know. Should I?
JESS: I think it’s wise.
RORY: [answers phone] Hello?
DEAN: Hey.
RORY: Oh, hey. Where are you?
DEAN: On my way to see you – if that’s okay?
RORY: Oh, well -
DEAN: I know you wanna be alone, so I’ll only stay a minute. I just wanna say hi.
RORY: We just said hi.
DEAN: Well, I wanna say hi a little closer.
RORY: But, I’m a mess, really. It’s not pretty. You won’t recognize me.
DEAN: Well, then put a name tag on ‘cause I miss you.
RORY: I miss you too, but –
DEAN: But what?
RORY: But. . .Paris is here.
DEAN: Why?
RORY: She freaked out about a grade and she wanted to go over some notes, and you know Paris – she will not be denied.
DEAN: Okay, then I’m not really ruining your alone night, someone else did that.
RORY: Yes, but –
DEAN: I’ll see you in a sec. [hangs up]
CUT TO RORY TRYING TO GET JESS OUT THE DOOR
JESS: Okay, well, give him my best, would ya? [sees Dean in the front yard] Actually, I guess I could do that myself.
RORY: Dean, Jess just came by to bring me some food.
JESS: From Luke’s.
RORY: He wanted to make sure I ate.
JESS: Luke did.
RORY: Right, Luke did.
JESS: Personally, I could care less if she eats.
RORY: Yeah, true, he could care less.
JESS: I see you brought a little something, too. Is that ice cream? That’s so nice.
A tiny little ice cream package just big enough for two. Hey, are you guys gonna feed each other
‘cause that’s just so darn cute. Oops. You’re doing that towering over me thing. Huh. I tell you, you’ve really
got that down. It helps that you’re twelve feet tall, but this Frankenstein scowl really adds to the whole – .
RORY: Jess.
JESS: Okay, I’m going. Look, man, I really was just dropping off some food, so don’t get all West Side Story on me, okay? [leaves]
RORY: So, do you wanna. . . [Dean walks into the house] . . .come in?
[cut to kitchen]
DEAN: What the hell is going on?
PARIS: Hi.
RORY: Dean, you remember Paris, right?
DEAN: Yeah, hi. So Jess just dropped this off, huh?
RORY: Oh, well. . .
DEAN: Now I know you eat fast, but this is a lot of food to put away that quickly, even on your best day.
RORY: Okay, so he didn’t just drop it off but - .
DEAN: You told me you were doing laundry tonight.
RORY: I was.
DEAN: And now you are here with Jess.
RORY: And Paris!
DEAN: Jess, Rory!
RORY: Ah, well, I swear, I didn’t –
DEAN: You didn’t what? You didn’t know he was coming over?
RORY: I didn’t.
DEAN: And you also didn’t know he was gonna stay, right?
RORY: It just happened.
DEAN: How does that just happen?
RORY: Well, he was. . .and the diner, the diner was. . .and I. . .
DEAN: And you what? What? Say something!
RORY: Stop yelling!
DEAN: You totally lied to me!
RORY: I didn’t!
DEAN: Turn the situation around, Rory! How’s it looking?
RORY: It’s looking complicated and I’m trying to explain it to you.
DEAN: Ugh, that’s crap.
PARIS: It’s my fault.
DEAN: What?
PARIS: It’s my fault that Jess was here. I saw him in the diner the day I came to Stars Hollow and
I thought he was cute and since I’m not great at the whole ‘batting the eyelashes, look at my belly shirt’ kind of thing,
I asked Rory to help me. I thought if she could maybe get him over here, we’d have a chance to talk and. . .I don’t know,
it seems totally stupid now and it obviously didn’t work – shock, but that’s why he was here. Thanks for trying to cover for me.
RORY: That’s okay.
PARIS: Anyway, I should get going. I’m probably gonna break out in some sort of rash any second now. [leaves kitchen]
DEAN: So Paris likes Jess?
RORY: Yeah.
DEAN: Rory, is this true?
RORY: Yes it is.
DEAN: Paris and Jess?
RORY: I know. There’s no explaining attraction. Dean, listen to me, if I was going to have anyone over tonight,
it definitely would’ve been you.
DEAN: Okay.
RORY: Really?
DEAN: Well, if you say so, then I have to believe it, don’t I?
RORY: Yes.
DEAN: Well, okay then. I’m sorry that I yelled.
RORY: Completely justified under the circumstances.
DEAN: I’m gonna get going.
RORY: No, wait, don’t you wanna stay for ice cream? We could hang out.
DEAN: Nah, I’m just gonna go.
RORY: I’m still seeing you tomorrow, right?
DEAN: Yeah, sure.
RORY: Hey.
DEAN: See you tomorrow. [leaves]